What is the middle line?

Are you a teacher or parent who is frustrated that parent-teacher partnerships seem to be one-sided?

As a parent and educated person, I know firsthand how frustrating it is when teachers don’t appear to be listening to me. I have opinions, and they are valid. I know my children better than anyone, don’t I? I went to school for fourteen years, then university, then post-university studies; I know what I am talking about – why is no one listening?

As a teacher, I know how frustrating it is when parents don’t appear to be listening to me. I have qualifications and experience that should be respected. I teach many children every year and have done so for a long time. Parents don’t see their child at school – it is different, why don’t they listen?

As a principal, I know how frustrating it is when parents and teachers can’t find a way to work together. The pendulum swings in the direction of whoever has the most power, and sadly in the midst of this power struggle, the child can be forgotten. In my previous blog, I wrote about my disappointment when a parent feels they cannot trust their school leadership, or when a staff member is so stressed, they need to take sick leave. There must be a better way to work together, isn’t there?

Thinking education exists to promote another way – a middle line where both teacher and parent needs are met in the centre.

Image by Pexels-andrea-piacquadio

Naude and Buttle (2000) in their business study, questioned what constitutes a good or poor relationship. While they concluded there is “not one explanation of this construct,” they found that relationship quality, in the business world, is based on trust, integration of needs, and can be motivated by power.

Studies in schools from Cheatham & Ostrosky, (2011) and Symeou et al., (2012) both found that teachers are largely viewed as experts and that parent's contributions to thier child's education can be limited or unwelcome. Miretzky (2004) found that parents’ want 'thier opinions to be valued, and Hale et al., (2017) further noted that parents can become frustrated when their own expertise regarding their children is overlooked.

As a potential solution, Leenders et al., (2019) added parental expertise needs to be acknowledged, and effort is required for constructive relationships to develop. These studies in schools highlight partnership problems. Power plays occur from both sides of the middle line, leading to a mutual lack of trust from a limited understanding, or, at worst, an ignorance of what the other is facing. I think education may need to consider Naude and Buttle’s work in the business world, finding ways to build trust and better integrate the needs of both parents and teachers.

Power, lack of trust and a limited understanding of needs all exacerbate parent-teacher partnerships.

Image by Pexels-krivic-ales

Imagine a train track, as above, where parents and teachers are going in the same direction. They are parallel, each track working alongside one another. They both have their own lane with their own expertise, but they understand that to keep on the track they must work together. If the track breaks the train derails – the train represents the child. The track represents a middle way. The railway sleepers represent the support we should have for each other.

Conflict and frustration are a normal part of life. Conflict occurs especially when our loved ones are potentially being harmed. We aren’t talking here about terrible cases where serious misconduct occurs – we are talking about, some of those day-to-day issues that typically emerge, and how teachers and parents can work together for better outcomes.

Scenario example (while reading these, picture in your mind what each scenario might look like, what would the middle way look like for you?):

An 8-year-old child gains a cut above their eye from another child in the playground. Harm was deliberate and mean in a tussle over a toy.

As a parent, do you?

a. Immediately become a warrior behind your keyboard, or pick up the phone and yell at the teacher for not providing adequate supervision?

b. Tell your child to get over it – these things happen, and they need to toughen up?

c. Find a middle way?

As a teacher, do you?

a. Fearfully call both parents and take whatever backlash you may receive?

b. Aim to restore the relationship between the two children and cover it up so you don’t have to manage parental complaints?

c. Find a middle way?

As a Principal do you?

a. Disempower the teacher and do everything you can to placate each parent?

b. Disempower the parent and only listen to the teacher at all costs?

c. Find a middle way?

My blogs aim to navigate a middle way because there has to be a better one than what is occurring now – if the pendulum swings much more in either direction in Victoria, we will have more than the 1000 teacher shortage and more than the approximate 12000 students absent due to school refusal.

I would love to hear any ways in which you as a parent or a teacher have found a successful middle way. Please use the contact page if you would like to connect.

I am the principal of a school in Melbourne Victoria. I am available for speaking engagements. My passion is to train teachers and parents in how to work with each other for the holistic learning of all children and young adults. In working in partnership, we can achieve so much more for your children.